Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Thursday, September 8

On Every Given
Sunday,
Monday,
and Occasional
Saturday and Thursday,
For The Next 5 Months,
My TV Is Set To
NFL Autopilot

No longer can I say 'Is it football season yet?'
cause it's
FOOTBALL SEASON
aka
Joe Gibbs Rd 2, Vol II
aka
16-0
and an XL Super Bowl WIN
in Super Bowl XL

not sponsored in part by
XL Recordings, Capital, or Clothing
or Ciatrick Fason

Speaking of autopilot, I feel some morose remorse for these two guys in my third fantasy fooball draft who let the cumputdders do their slim pickens for em. Peyton and Dante are solid #1 picks, but why on earth would a cumputdder in 2005 think that both of these teams would also need to sign SEVEN additional back-up QBs EACH?!??! I mean, has Kyle Bowler been drafted in any draft? Damn, it's a bit drafty up in herrrrrrrrrrre.


But before we delve into the real sports season-ed fries, lets drop and pop to the hotness that has been the US Thighs Wide Open. Anyone for Tennis? Wouldn't MSG tickets be NICE, but for now I'll settle for the Nick Goings on at Arthur Ashe Can Andy Stadium. Did you see the igass that Agassi displayed last noche? He not only won in dramatic fashion (does anyone ever say 'comedic fashion'? or citarick fason?), but set a record for being the tennis player who mos resembled Ed Kowalczyk for the 2 million billionth time! Way to go you Steffi Graf-Zeppelin worshiper!! Juss remember Andre 2000, I alone love you, fear is not the end of this!


And whatta bout the loverly Tia Maria Sharapovaria? Besides wearing the same outfit day after day as a sign of solidarity with my unemployment movement, she's been kicking glass all up in Queens Blvd like she was Vinnie Chase in the rain. And she'll surely provide some grand PM beatoff material this Friday as she faces off groans her moans on like Ryan Moats vs Princess Fiona in the semis. It couldn't have let me cum at a better time cause her stock as HRT the IIIrd has taken a worser beating than the one the Skins endured vs the Bears in 1940. How has me cum to this? Cause a certain 20 fags a day/newly minted GQ lady of the year has slowly but thighedly becummed the next lady in waiting...


Lettuce all pray that in 10 yrs time, I'm not bowing my dong to Hayley Westenra, the suppose-id next CC

Back to the grill again...

• GORILLAZ TO TOUR in 2007

• The new tATu jounks Dangerous and Moving is neither dangerous nor moving, but when I close my eyes and make bee leave that the two are actually lesbians and are constatly licking each other, it's probably the single greatest album to ever be released after Genesis' Invisible Touch. U've seen the vid to 'All About Us', now hear another track of borscht bliss: 'Loves Me Not' [d-lode]

• Ari Gold's mum wants HRT the I to be his HRT the I

• Saturn goes gay

• Sorry folks, but Rachael Ray is here to rayign and rayin on yer parade for years to come

• Jack Kerouac was keroWACK

• Robocop loves history

• 2001 eggsplained [via Nacogdoches]

• Micro Compact Home

• NSFW [via Tom Wellington]

&

• The Truth About Mike Sushchefski, In Animated Gif Format [via My Man Marvkus]

I'm off to the gay and family beach (no, not the real OC, although I will be watching The OC). So see you Monday.


# On Every Given
Sunday,
Monday,
and Occasional
Saturday and Thursday,
For The Next 5 Months,
My TV Is Set To
NFL Autopilot