26. May, 2010 
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An RBI Wedding
picture of a groom and his boyz playing RBI Baseball 10 minutes before his wedding
[via Gantry’s RBI Baseball Page]
19. May, 2010 3 Comments
Nintendo Power Issue 1 – 1988 July/August was our bible
Birdo can lick our balls!!!!
fact: we’ve been burned more by the blue candle
than we have by women
up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, (select,) start changed our life and probably yours
who doesn’t love the ‘Screw Attack’?
RBI B-BALL IS MORE LORD THAN TRACI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Goonies II was vastly underrated, even at # 13
what heaven once looked like
21. Jan, 2008 0 Comments
we saw 120+ flicks this past year
how’d you do?
Honor Blackmanable Mentions
Billy The Kid, Breach, Broken English, Control, Death At A Funeral, I’m Not There, Into The Wild, La Vie En Rose, Lake Of Fire, The Lives of Others, No End In Sight, The Mist, Sunshine & Sweeney Todd
The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
He Didn’t Like
Guy of The Year
That Guy
aka Denis O’Hare
who appeared in 6 movies
Worstest Line of Dialog
That Also Happens To Be The Title of The Film
‘If the girl’s only hope is you, I pray for her,
cause she’s gone, baby, gone.‘
– Cheese
Rawkinest Cameo Since
Huey Lewis in
Back To The Future
Keef Richards in Pirates 3
& the least rawkinest?
Jack White in Dewey Cox
Pure Javier Bordems
The Assassination of Jesse James
by the Coward Robert Ford
Dans Paris
Silk
Mos Welcomenist Return
since the 2nd Ave Deli
Post Her
Post Me
Post Haste!
& the wurstest one
besides War
Trailers Worth Tractoring
Atonement
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
The Namesake
The Simpsons Movie
Unconscious
& not The Kingdom
which seemed to have 38573 diff versions
and still no one wanted to see it
Songs That Execute Butter
Than Norman Mailer’s Bong
‘Bratitude’ [d]
‘Hurdy Gurdy Man’ [d]
‘Pop Goes My Heart’ [d]
& anything off of the Into The Wild or Once sdtrks
Bestest Movies We Netflixed
Catch
That Needs To Be
Released
Jennifer Garner
and that stoopid gasp face she makes
Facial Hair That Needs
To Face The Music
In A Movie Starring
Oliver from The OC
and That Dude
Who Looks Like Mandy Moore
In That Movie He Was In
With Mandy Moore
Jon Voight in September Dawn
Replacing Those Fandango
Brown Paper Bags
As The Mos Painful
of All
Pre-Movie Infotainment
3 Doors Down’s
‘Citizen/Soldier’
National Guard propaganda video
Porn To Be Wild
Snatch and Release
Catch & Release
Breaking and Entering
Breaking and Entering
Poonanny For Beginners
Puccini for Beginners
I Think I F$cked My Wife
I Think I Love My Wife
Mr Magorium’s Wonder Sploogetorium
Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium
The F#ck-It List
The Bucket List
Twatatouille
Ratatouille
Hot Rod
Hot Rod
Jizzy Carter Man With Stains
Jimmy Carter Man From Plains
Pairofsloppytits
Persepolis
My Kid Could Bang That
My Kid Could Paint That
Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award
Daeg Faerch
Saoirse Ronan
Ebon Moss-Bachrach
Wallace Wolodarsky
Zane Pais
Christopher Mintz-Plasse
muMs da Schemer
& Benedict Cumberbatch
(for the 2nd yr in a row)
The Gus van Sant
Most Pretentious
Mos Overhyped
Fox Searchlight Movie
For No Reason
Welcome To The House, Dolls
every Diving Bell and The Butterfly lady
The Death to Smoochy Award
for Worstest Picture of the Year
August Rush
Epic Movie
License to Wed
Revolver
Sing Now or Forever Hold Your Peace
Movies To Look For In The ‘008
Beta Dog
28 Days Slater
Gone BabyDaddy Gone
Yes City-State For Young Women
Twice
Blings We Lost In The Fire
Codename: The Gleaners and I
Bratzz
The Number 2
North By Northwestern Promises
7 Fast, 7 Furious
Movies Mumsy Enjoyed
FIVE STARS
La Vie En Rose
The Kite Runner
FOUR STARS
Away From Her
The Diving Bell And The Butterfly
Great Debaters
I’m Not There
In Shadow Of The Moon
Savages
THREE STARS
Atonement
Avenue Montaigne
Before The Devil
Death At A Funeral
December Boys
Eagle VS Shark
Into The Wild
Juno
Margot At The Wedding
Namesake
Nina’s Heavenly Delights
No Country For Old Men
TWO STARS
Bucket List
The Orphanage
WORST FILM OF THE YEAR
August Rush
Papa’s Picks
TOP TEN
La Vie En Rose
In The Shadow of The Moon
Eastern Promises
No Country For Old Men
The Savages
The Kite Runner
Away From Her
Talk To Me
I’m Not There
3:10 To Yuma
RUNNER-UPS
Into The Wild
The Namesake
This Is England
Amazing Grace
Avenue Montaigne
Nina’s Heavenly Delights
Breach
The Bucket List
The Great debaters
Once
BEST COMEDIES
Juno
Superbad
Eagle vs. Shark
Death At A Funeral
Ratatouille
Knocked up
No Reservations
GOOD MOVIES PAPSY DIDN’T LIKE
Sweeney Todd (great cinematography)
Diving Bell and The Butterfly
There will be blood (best actor)
MOVIES THE THIGH MASTER
WOULDN’T LET POP
PUT ON THE LIST
BUT HE LIKED
Wild Hogs
August Rush
Blades of Glory
Fred Claus
02. Aug, 2007 0 Comments
The Ten
Unlike Spinal Tap’s Amps, This One Doesn’t Go To Eleven
Trailers & Mo
 |
What if I told you that there’s a film starring Jessica Alba, Adam Brody, Bobby Cannavale, Paul Rudd, Famke Janssen, Gretchen Mol, Rob Corddry, Winona Ryder, Liev Schreiber, Oliver Platt, Ron Silver, Justin Theroux, the entire cast of The State (sans Michael Patrick Jann), and it’s written and directed by the dude that gave us Wet Hot American Summer (yeah, I know he was in The State, so shut the front door!)? With a power line-up like that (maybe 2nd best to the NL All-Star team on RBI Baseball), you’d say how could this not be the comedy feast of the year? I was spraying the same thing to myself, going into a screening of The Ten, a set of sorta-intertwining sketches about the ten commandments, like Kieslowski’s Dekalog, cept their ‘version is much shorter and (mostly) does not take place in Polish apartment building.’ That line was taken from the press notes bit entitled Ten Things You Need To Know About The Ten, which sadly, is almost funnier than the entire movie. Not to say that The Ten doesn’t have it’s moments (Wynona Rider! Stealing! A ventriloquist’s dummy! AND having sex with it!), but all around, it’s just not as funny as it could have been. Where Paris, Je T’Aime [TWS review]’s vignettes had an even hits to misses ratio, The Ten could only wish it could break even. Maybe Gawd shoulda added an 11th commandment: thou shall not waste a golden opportunity to make one fargin beerlarious movie. Amen and awomen!
I Command You: to rewatch Mel Brooks as Moses deliver us some helpful tablets
10 Things I Hate About Bo Derek: dem cornrows, dem cornrows, dem cornrows, dem cornrows, dem cornrows, dem cornrows, dem cornrows, dem cornrows, dem cornrows & dem cornrows… wait, how’d those last two get in there?
1 Thing I Don’t Hate About Bo Derek: when she gets all NSFW on us!
John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But Not Stinkin Badges
The Ten opens in limited theaters tomorrow and elsewhere elsewhen
until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
11. Dec, 2006 0 Comments
Cuthbert currently in NYC filming My Sassy Girl, and currently being hypnotized by clapboards
Dakota Fanning wants to direct more than she wants pubes
Sacha Baron Cohen Was a Male Model
•Michael Psenicska, 2006’s Best Supporting Actor
David Lynch poo-poos the more Twin Peaks notion. Funny, cause word has it that his new movie is poo-poo
Rocky screenings galore, sadly it’s not for Rocky I
where have I seen this layout before?
a History of Snowboarding in 2 minutes flat, like yer mum’s chest [Bizzaro Lazzaro]
you can’t spell Danni without ‘in’ or ‘nad’, but you can’t with NSFW
Ghanian film posters [Cab Driver]
Walt Disney’s The Story Of Menstruation, fo-five-reals!
Tefillin Barbie [The Thinker]
locate a cell phone anywhere in the world [The Eating Machine]
and how come Tron Guy hasn’t thrown his latest male-camel toe creation up on his websight yet? [WTFOMGZ]
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mo quick hitz! The Lighthouse Bless you Robert Eggers. You know how to strike a mood, and give us the heebie jeebies. In making a movie about two Lighthouse keepers not keeping sane, you drove us insane, and made quite the pretty picture in the process. It felt like watching a full-length, b&w version […]
caught up on a lot of movies. no time to devote full diatribes – so quick hitz! Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Skywalker works because it wasn’t The Last Jedi. You really screwed the pooch Rian Johnson. Can’t blame J.J. for trying to right/write the ship when he was handed a mess and […]
Uncut Gems Sterling, Sharp Official Site | Trailers & Mo R | 134 min This isn’t one of those Adam Sandler movies where he gets hit in the balls for laughs. It’s the kind where he gets his balls stomped on. YOU GO SANDLER!!! YOU GO GET YOUR BALLS STOMPED ON!!! Why don’t you go […]
The Irishman Unionfellas Official Site | Trailers & Mo R | 210 min There is MUCH to praise about Marty’s latest grand spicy meatball (unbelievable sets and costumes! DeNiro is best when he is quiet! Pacino is even bester when he’s loud! And dancing with women!!  Tommy The Tit IS the tits!! Lums!!! that’s what […]
Last Christmas Wham! Bam! Mostly No Thank You Ma’am? Official Site | Trailers & Mo PG-13 | 103 min For 18/19ths of this movie (which I brought an infant in a stroller to!!! BEST DAD EVER), I was like, this is worse than a Hallmark Christmas movie!!!! THERE’S NOT EVEN A SINGLE GAZEBO IN THIS […]
Star Wars is stagnant, but there is a new hope, if only they went down a path that looked more like this… Kalinka Fox
Brazilian models pose during the IZOD IndyCar World Championship Sao Paulo Indy 300 race, April 29, 2012
104 years was not nearly enough Olivia de Havilland for this world. we needed 208. miss you tons Olivia de Havilland. miss saying your name knowing that you were still with us. we will always and forever say your name, and in that way, you will always and forever be with us Olivia de Havilland […]
thighs wide is SIXTEEN years shut!!!!! (turned sweet 16 on March 8th!) I just don’t know how to quit me. do you? (note – each picture below is clickable and will take you to its own magical place) Daphne Zucchini Bread Do Believe The Hyphen Steve Carlton Fisk Orange Crushed You’ve Reached the Office of […]
we named the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2019 and now, for the only awards that matter… SEXtenth Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards aka THE THIGHSMANS!!! _ Greatest Righting of A Wrong In A Movie Franchise EVER in The Rise of Skywalker when they like, hey Rose, want to join us on this […]
Seven 2019 Films That Were More Pitch Perfect Than Jerry Blevins! 1) Midsommar Something wicker man this way comes!!! 2) Ad Astra it space races your heart! 3) Joker apparently never posted a review here, but this will have to do the @jokermovie is easily the best Batman related movie ever made. come for the […]
there is nothing I look forward to more than compiling our annual goodbye to last year’s trends and hello to this year’s puns. The Washington Post is more professional at this sorta thing, but maybe you’re not into the whole brevity thing… OUT IN Adam Gase’s Gaze – Adam Driver, Driver – TikTok – […]
thighs wide is FIFTEEN years shut – TODAY!!!!! (somehow we skipped documenting fourteen, but fourteen is always an odd age) we’ve finally gotten our learner’s permit, and let me permit you to see some of the crap we crapped here over the past year of cheers and fears! (note – each picture below is clickable […]
