- A Wisconsin cop downs 9 1/2 donuts in 3 minutes to win a doughnut-eating contest. HA! I once ate like 20+ White Castle shitburgers in less than 3 minutes. Maybe our mouths will meet up (that sounds awfully gay, doesn't it?) at Nathan's Annual 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest.
Every fat person's wet dream
- Cat not in hat. Cat in box. Box shipped with birds. Box arrives 30 days later.
Cat found alive. Cat will be a contestant on next
Survivor. Cat will sing a duo with William Hung.
| | 
Thank you for helping me
pass High School English |
- A rare copy of
Hamlet failed to sell at a Christie's auction. Ya wanna know why? Cause no one has ever fully read it. And who needs to read the whole thing when there are like 8 movie versions and CliffsNotes.
- Finally, the reality show we've all been waiting for: "scrimmages and other behind-the-scenes activities" of the
Lingerie Football League. Can I play permanent QB?
