These People Were Born
1570 - Guy Fawkes "Guys"
1743 - Thomas"'s English Muffin" Jefferson
1852 - F.W. "Woolie" Woolworth
1866 - Butch "Shasta Mc" Cassidy
1946 - Al "Mean Joe" Green
1950 - Ron "HellBoo" Perlman
1976 - Jonathan "RIP" Brandis
The only thing I remember
buying at Woolworth's
And These People Croaked
No one worth mentioning unless of course you mean folklorist Jean de la Fontaine in 1695
And This Shit Happened
1598 - King Henry IV of France issues the Edict of "Jim" Nantes, which allows freedom of religion to the Huguenots. You wanna know who really has WMAs? The Huguenots.
1902 - James C. Penney opens his first store in Kemmerer, Wyoming. Millions of future kids rejoice as they will now be able to see what a woman in underwear looks like thanks to their mail-order catalogs.
JC's catalog ladies would never
fly in today's Janet right breast world
