Did you know that when I had my mustache, I traveled back in time and became a California gold prospector? I'm really happy to be back to the future, but sometimes I get a lil misty thinking about all the sasparilla I drank and the dirty whores I came to know and came in.
PS- I'm really not that scary looking in real life. I no longer have that 'stache, that isn't even my hat, and I only make that grizzly face when Lindsay Lohan doesn't return my phone calls.
