Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Sunday, May 16

The Sopranos
WTF?

If you didn't watch this week's Sopranos, then stop reading. If you did, I'm sure you will agree it was one of the mostest boringgest, mostest bizarre ones ever... next to the one where Tony gets seduced by his dad's ole slutbag mistress who had also slept with President Taft. It was so un-umcredible, that I received a text massage during it, telling me what Jonah had thought, "Zzzzzz." He also happened to be sitting right next to me.

For about 1/2 the show, there was this longwinded dream sequence so stoopid, so surreal, that Salvador Dali couldn't even dream it up. It made less sense than all of my blog entries combined!! Tony rode a horse in his house, the father from Home Alone sang a Lionel Ritchie ditty, and he saw lots of dead people, like Big Pussy, Annabella Sciorra, and President Taft. And at one point, he was sitting at a table with Annette Bening, playing herself (altghough I wish she was playing with her self). She must be 116 years old, but she's still mad f-in hot. Warren Beatty has banged the world's best, but he found a perfect woman to grow old with. What a jerk.

Anywayz, since The Sopranos ran out of creativity 2 years ago, they have to resort in rehashing old movies scenes. During this snooze inducing dream sequence, they payed homage, more like fromage, to The Honeymooners, The Godfather, Tron, Howard the Duck, Midnight Madness, and to one of Peabs' favorites, Leonard Part 6. OK, maybe not the last four... but enuff with this crap!! With only two episodes left, I can't imagine what could happen!!! Maybe Paulie Walnuts will spill mustard on his pants!!! Oh my!! Or maybe the drugstore is out of Silvio's hair grease and he gets angry!! Look out!! Or maybe, they'll actually whack someone that's important. Somebody call me when they're done with the gimmicks. In the meanwhile, I'm going to try and stop myself from thinking dirty thoughts about Annette Bening...

such a M.I.L.F.