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Sunday, July 11
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
More like, AnchorBoo: The Legend of Ron Broke-ness. Sure, the movie produced a handful of laughs (the "I'm in a glass case of emotion!" scene hespecially), but is that enuff to constitute a complete comedy? I laugh more at the Japanese animated porn I work with, which is unintentionally funny, than this sorry eggscuse for a Will Ferrell movie. Don't get me wrong, the man is a comic genius and all the Reese’s pieces were there for success, but the script was unacceptable and was completely misemployed on WF and the rest of the talented supporting cast (Fred Willard, Paul Rudd, and Steve Carell). Even the cameos were wretched. Spoiler a-lert!!! You'd think that guest appearances by Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, Jack Black, and even an afroed Tim Robbins would be masterstrokes of brilliance, but all of dem talents were wasted too!! And let’s get one thing straight here peoples: I don't care how much you love him, but Vince Vaughn is not only a bad actor, but he's not even an actor. Sure, playing Norman Bates was a stretch, but he plays the same guy in every movie: himself. He's just dying to say, "So money baby," every friggiadero second. Basically A:TLORB is just as good as Starsky & Hutch (yet another Vince Vaughn movie), which is mos def not a good thing. Sorry folks, but this is a Slit Your Eyes Out Moovie. Go see a flick that actually contains genuine laughs, like Napoleon Dynamite or even this next one...
Secret Window
Wurst Johnny Depp movie. Wurst movie adapted from a Stephen King novel. And the wurst movie adapted from a Stephen King novel starring Timothy Hutton. Yessir, even wurst than The Dark Half. A great movie if you need to torture someone.
Purple Rain
I'll admit it, I never saw the whole movie as a youngin, juss bitz and Reese's pieces of it. Maybe cause it was Rated R or the fact that I was too scared of everything at the time, including drummer Bobby Z with that pencil-thin mustache (sorry, could not even find one picture, but here are a couple o links of former Revolutionaries: Dr Matt Fink and Dez Dickerson). But I had to see it as I'm going to the Purple One's concert this Friday in NJ of all places. Now whenever someone sees an 80s' movie years after it was released, it's never going to be as good as people make it out to be. Eggzample: if you peeped Top Gun for the 1st time tomorrow, you'd think it was more awfulerest than League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Purple Rain as an album is unrelievable, but as a movie, it really wasn't that intriguing... besides the bit where Apollonia takes her top off and jumps into a frigid Lake Minnetonka. I was hoping for another Pink Floyd's The Wall or The Who's Tommy, but it was more like Spiceworld, without Alan Cumming of course. But in the end, who really cares? The acting sux, but the music rocks, so does the guitar Apollonia buys for Prince, and so does Morris Day's mustache and crazy dancing skillz. Did I mention Apollonia's fun bags?
Veronica Guerin
I can't bee leave it, Joel "Suck-maker" Schumacher not only made one umcredible biopic, but probably the best movie of his entire career. OK, maybe that's not such a grand statement, since his best movie is The Lost Boys and his worst list would require 15 pages of blogging, but this is one powerful f-in movie. Cate Blanchett plays VG, the real-life Irish journalist who aimed to bring down a group of drug dealers no matter what. Along the way the drug dealers try intimidate her by beating and shooting her, but she won't quit til justice has been served. I won't reveal much more, but this is a Muss C people Netflixer folks!! See it NOW!
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