Let the zzzzeszzzz begin!!!! That's right folks, the Summer Olympaidad is back, so lets get ready to be bored to death. I mean, how eggciting can the competition be if the Americans pretty much win everything. And who cares if we or anyone else rules in
badminton? That's why the Winter jounks is truly where it's at. Sure we sweep the snowboarding events, but we're never really favored in any other event. And where else can u get a boner for things called luge and curling?
I must admit that the
Opening Ceremonies were quite impressive. What a pageant these Grecians put on. I mean, I thought the just completed stadium would have collapsed mid-way thru, but alas, it all went off w/out a hitch and it was like watching Disney's
Fantasia and
Fantasia 2000 rolled into one. Plus it didn't hurt that I TiVoed it and didn't have to sit thru all 4 hours of hand waving and feta cheese tossing.
The roll call of countries took for ages. I mean, how many countries does this planet need? I suggest that we reduce the amount of countries by rolling back the names and territories of the world to match that of
a Risk board. Wouldn't be so much cooolerer if we were facing off against Kamchatka and Irtusk? But it was nice to peep so many fly honeys from the globe. I am going to make it my goal to bang at least one from every country... starting with Equatorial Guinea, Kazakhstan (sirprizingly the men AND women don't look like
Borat), and The United Arab Emirates... wait, they didn't send any women to the games! And a few notes before departing: 1) me love
Bob Costas, but he's too insulting of other countries to be NBC's main man at the games. 2) Allen Iverson looked really bored 3) Bjork is the greatest. She wore a dress that was so huge-mong-us, it covered ALL the athletes in the center of the stadium. If yer reading this
Bjork, let me be yer Matthew Barney.
