Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, September 10

Is It Football Season Yet?
Ells F#$KING YEAH IT IS!!

return of the king

- My main man TK Stack Money, aka Tony Kornheiser, gets all sorts of jiggy in his latest opus, about the seconding coming of his eggscellency, Skins coach Joe Gibbs. I mean, the guy may be a geezer, but dropping rhymes like, Who imagined so many years after that tease/That Norv would have been better off with John Friesz? shows he may be hipper than most hip-hoppers.

- Speaking of Del Redskins, there was a nasty lil internet hoax going around on CBS.sportsline yesterday about Clinton Portis being out for the next 8 to 12 weeks. My boy and fellow diehard burgundy and gold worshipper, Jon Juan de Kurr, freaked the f-in freak freak when he saw that info and proceeded to leave frantic voice mails on the Washington Post's Mark Maske and Nunyo Demasio's inboxes. I applaud him for his dedication to seeking out the truth and his unyielding love for dem Hogs, but this was a bridge too far. I've since committed my compadre for psychiatric evaluation to prevent him from becoming like that bizatch stalking Catherine-Zeta-Alpha-Omega-Jones-McDonald-Douglas.

- By the way, Skins are going 17-0. Yep, they'll even win during their bye week.

- Next Strokes LP may not be out for years. Whys is that? So they can take their jolly-a$$ time learning every riff the Cars and the Clash ever riffed? Get an f-in haircut and shower you post modern hipsters.

- It's a dog eat dog world, and now apparently a dog shoot man world. [via Spakula Shaker]

- Noah Wyle to leave ER at the season's end. I honestly didn't realize that that show was still on. Must See TV, eh? Yeah, maybe if yer blind!

- Peace the fork out Mikey Eisner. Maybe now's the time they unfroze Walt and let him run the show again.

- This IS the world's largest bottle of catsup. Does it also count as the largest bottle of ketchup?

save some of that green stuff for me, will ya Pops?
- Popeye turns 75 this year and what butter way to celebrate (besides inhaling some of his fine fried chicken) than by attending the 25th Annual Popeye Picnic in Chester, Illi-noise this weak end. Peep this mammoth list of events. I'm berry interested in whatever this 'Cash Giveaway' contest is on Sunday night.

- Green potato chips explained!!!

- I love these ads for Elle Macpherson's Intimates Lingerie. Hispecially the one of the topless chick with knives. Too bad not everyone agrees.

- The Dutch be so crazy. They have words like Neiwsjikciakskraewuiae, they let you buy the world's sickest ganj AND cheese, and they also pour Tabasco sauce on their crops AND have a 9/11 inspired film festival entitled, See, Fly, Die.

- How much awfuler can this Dukes of Hazzard movie get? Seann William Scott awfuler. [via Navi the Terrible]

- Andy Rooney loves the Soup Nazi. I love this planet so much.

- And finally, did Ali G ruin the world of bling?