Gawd bless your Canuck parents for their umcredible DNA and love of boning, which helped to bring you into this world 22 years ago today! I bet you were smokin hot even with the umbilical cord attached to yer lil body.
And since I didn't have time to bake u a cake like I did for
Lohan's 18th, I decided to pen you a lil B-day poem, my dearest Royal Thighness of them all...
You were born in the 80s
And you be the finest of all the liz-adies
Stop teasing me with your 'maybes'
Isn't it time to make da babies?
Yer thighs
Hypnotize
And tantalize
And make men cries
Why are you so purrfect
Is beauty a birth defect?
I like it when we pet and neck
And finger bang whilst we listen to Beck
And for those of you who aren't going to rent
The Girl Next Door in her honor today,
here's a highlight reel of her ultra-uber-super-hot-bod for you all to enjoy. [via Dougie Fresh Rheingold]
