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Wednesday, May 31
X-Men: The Last Stand
If Brett Ratner Is Shit, Can We Call Him Shatner?
Trailers
Seems like X3's script was carefully attuned to who was still under contract for future adventures and who was not. And with that in mind, you know a bunch of the biggies are gonna fall, while the smallies would stand tall. Had the biggies (who rival Wendy's Biggie fries) known that Bryan Singer was goin to leave em hangin with Brett 'One of the Mos Worthless Jews Who's Worth A Lot' Ratner they may have restructured their contracts to end with numero dos. While that opening bitchslap that I juss dee livered may sound like this is the second summer helping of Das BOO, it's still an entertaining movie. But then again, when has a super hero flick of this decade been completely unwatchable (sans anything involving Ben Affleck or his loved ones)?
So, now that we know some Men-Xers bite the dust, or whatever mutants do, this should make for a mos engaging evening. But alas, even with more shocks than the opening scenes of Shocker [trailer], this movie is more empty than a can of Beefaroni after Isak got to it. And once again this installment falls victim to my main issue with the entire series: THERE ARE WAY TO MANY FRIGGIN CHARACTERS TO KEEP TRACK OFF, even if 1/2 of them are super yummy. But as the biggies begin to drop, we realize that what we're left with blows more than 94's Fantastic Four starring the Boy Who Could Fly, but sadly (or is it gladly?) not the Girl Who Is Fly. And don't even get me started on the dreadful CGI. Shaz looks like it was made on Fisher Price's My Very First George Lucas Ruins Movies Playset
And regardless of what u've been told, staying past the credits is a waste of yer time. Ferris comes out and tells us all to go home. HOW ORIGINAL!!
Recommended for those who like: the long-overspew return of Rosemary Cross, to see Rebecca Romijn as Aeon Flux, and the Araz family matriarch
Possible Porno Name: seX-Men: The Left Hand
Unsatisfied with this? Netflix season 4 of Six Feet Under and watch Ben Foster embody one of the least likeable characters in TV history, Russell Corwin
Apt MPupil3: 'She's Like The Wind' by Patrick Swayze [d]
IMDb Sweeney: Josef Sommer, who plays the Prez, has also played Woodrow Wilson, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Gerald Ford, and although not a Commander in Chimp, he did invent D.A.R.Y.L.
John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Ron Howard shoulda directed this and Ratpoo shoulda takin on Da Vinci, cause it was gonna suck anyways. Anypoo, Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges
Wearing My Pryde On My Sleeve Cum Rag: I'm with Justin, cept I'd make #3, #1, caus ELLEN 'TURNS ME ON LIKE I TURN HER' PAGE!!!
(don't fret, juss fap, she's 19)
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