Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Wednesday, June 21

I Juss Flew In From Aruba
& Boy Are My
Natalee Holloway Jokes Tired

Look dudes and Doo-Dad eaters, she's been missing for over a year, and although disappearing in the land where Sidney Ponson punched a judge isn't all that funny, when yer an American in a very VERY strange land, for one killah hills-arsed wedding (YOU GO SPEX!!), you crack jokes at what you know best, or in this case, least. + anyone who's Joran Andreas Petrus van der Slootin knows she's old news, cause Nicholas Raymond Gochnour is the new pink! Eesh, I'm off to a bad start here, but hey, I'm already goin to a hell that I don't bee leave in, and this is a warning for you future parents that will sire kids who want to have fun. You should listen to Weird Al and have kids who juss wanna have brunch. Btw, it's always bestester to replace the lyrics 'Just a wanna' wit 'Botswana'. Trust me. I know African funny. If not, fork u in yer mother's Djibouti which I shaved last nite with a Brillo pad. Anywho, without further Freddy Adu...

I will find you Natalee
and all the extras 'e's in yer nameee

but first a bit of double fisting
drinks style
and then
anal stossel

How do the Arubianz keep Natalee outta the news?

they build elevators!!

Who the hell is this?

either our chief suspect
or the chief inspector
in charge of the case
(which would explain a lot)

If you smoke as much dope as Stacy Keach
in Cheech & Chong's Nice Dream

you'll either turn into a lizard like him
or think that that vegetable is actually part of Nat's ankle

Everyone knows El Gaucho is the place to go for meat

& everyone knows that El Gaucho finds his meat
on the same beaches where the locals dump bodies!

Did you hear about NBC's new Law & Order: ATV show?

neither did Natalee
or Dolly Parton
when she bought a new pair of shoes

Are these Dutchers celebratin the victory over Côte d'Ivoire?
or the death of another American?

who cares, cause they all sell weed
and have the finest pannekoeken on earth
and have names like Chevy van Damn vandy Kamps
and have the finestist ovens under the covers!

How can all white women avoid gettin all disappeared?

pull a Thighs no-no & go all cornrow

I'm never going to find her
if people keep shitting in my mouth

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
corn poopie!!

and off the record:
How come when I think of paradise
I think of the least paradisical thing possible

Phil Collins
[d]

Life is all about learnin. So what did I learn on this trip and will never ever forget til I find Natalee? That Chris de Burgh is the one who sings 'Lady In Red' [d]. I also learned that men are more receptive to Natalee jokes then the bitches. Good thing only 2 women read this site.

Previously on The OC
+ Ire Straits
+ 24 Hour Party People

plus a bonus pic from the set of Miami Vice

that u can beatoff to
I know I did


† thumcredible sunset photos kurt ta c of jules verne is the mannes
†† sorry if this posting offended anyone, hispecially fans of Chris de Burgh