Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Monday, March 5

Village (Pantry) Idiot

Yours thighly cannot keep away from the fair city that is Bloomington, Indiana. In a little over a year, including this jaunt, I've hit Indiana's only cultural hotspot a whoppin 3 times! Take that other Hoosier alumni! Last time on the IU, me gots to see my beloved Skins fall to the eventual world champs, and richard prior to that one, I sported my Redskins Cliff Engle sweater. No racist football club paraphernalia was on hand on this go around, but that didn't stop the inevitable: my nauseous egg farts that cannot only clear a room, but a sidewalk. Yep, they be so nasty that they can even knock out people walking OUTDOORS! The pictures documenting this annual expedition are slowly becoming more popular than the ones taken on the red carpet at the Academy Awards. Well, that may not be true, but would you rather look at Jennifer Hudson wearing a midget jacket or my hands covered in a white sauce that doesn't come from a penis?

Me & da crew had a gay olde thyme

about as gay as this hat

Sleaze Bo hadn't been back in 10 years

but he didn't fear
like Stephen Frears
looking into a mirror

even though things change
the song always remains the same

so gawd bless today's students
for making a stand about those who do not stand!

Cliff Engle sweater fever will never die

and when I die I want to be buried in this sweater

and for your weak a$$ paint job

I will fist hump you!!

there was plenty of monkey bidness abound

a gorilla suit?
no, a gibbon suit!

poor Jeff Katz




although how can we feel bad
when every man who pee's at Nick's
will know his name and apparently the status of his cock

no one can stop my Masthole

or my a$$hole after eating everything but White Caslte

speaking of my toxic gas

the Village Pantry has
les bestest chicken salad sangwhich
in da land

and the Cresent

made me moon
as in pullin down me pants
and poop the 27839123478 donuts I inhaled
with pleasure!

mouth wide shut?
NEVER

for when it comes to eating
I'm the #1 slut

to you this Buffa Louie gooeyness may look gross

but to me, I say it's art
and that you my friend are the one who's morose!