Speed Racer
Game Boy Color Blinding
Trailers & Mo
For a movie (and main character) called 'Speed Racer', this puppy moves purty darn slow. The imagery is mos def cooler than Coolio drinking Kool-Aid, but if yer looking for a non-stop car racing action feast, yer better off staying at home and rocking
Mario Karts Wii for 2+ hours instead. Not for a lack of trying, but beyond the trippy visuals and egggsalad casting (C Ricci and her sexy anime eyes!), the brothers Wachowski executed this big screen adaptation of the cult 60s toon very poorly. A lot of time is wasted on the politics involved in the film's racing world, but it's not interesting and doesn't help to make the races any more important. They're kinda like the pod race in
Star Wars Episode I, which served no real purpose besides showing off what Lucasfilms' CGI group is capable of. Like
Tron and
Dick Tracy,
Speed Racer would be the perfect flick to throw on in a loud bar, cause if anyone had to pay attention to the story, they'd apply the breaks, go in reverse and get the hell outta there
Fanning The Next Dakota: move over
Gade, cause you're no longer the mos adorable child actress named Ariel. that title now belongs to
Ariel Winter, who played kid Trixie
John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict):
Sum Merit But No Stinkin BadgesForgetting Sarah MarshallWe Probably Will, In Another Week Or So
Trailers & Mo
Forgetting Sarah Marshall is like every other Judd Apatow related project, it's cute, got some solid laffs here and there, but ultimately is not the greatestist thing to happen to comedy since
Rufus T Firefly.
Marshall is probably the mos conventional one of the bunch (we didn't care much for
Superbad or
Virgin, but did for
Knocked-Up), yet with so many crap options out there for you to take your honey to, it's a more solid choice than anything starring McDreamy or
McD-bag. After about an hour, the comedy takes a backseat to the romance shiz, and or main problem with the flick is that the love story didn't really pull our heart strings enough to care enuff about it (we also don't have a heart, thanks to
Mola Ram). Our secondary problem is Jonah Hill. Has there ever been a more one-noted actor who's received this much buzz for no good reason? He's about as humorous as
King of the Hill is (how is that show still on TV?). We're sure he'll suck all of the good air outta Ricky Gervais' directorial debut
This Side of the Truth, and that's all sides of the truth, Ruth!
Sarah Marshalls Trying To Forget: these
real life Sarah Marshall's were not big fans of the film's marketing and advertising campaign
John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict):
Jeepers Worth A Peepersboth films are currently playing at a theater near Jews
until next thyme the balcony is clothed...
