Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Tuesday, May 13

Gomer Pyle Driver

Speed Racer
Game Boy Color Blinding
Trailers & Mo


For a movie (and main character) called 'Speed Racer', this puppy moves purty darn slow. The imagery is mos def cooler than Coolio drinking Kool-Aid, but if yer looking for a non-stop car racing action feast, yer better off staying at home and rocking Mario Karts Wii for 2+ hours instead. Not for a lack of trying, but beyond the trippy visuals and egggsalad casting (C Ricci and her sexy anime eyes!), the brothers Wachowski executed this big screen adaptation of the cult 60s toon very poorly. A lot of time is wasted on the politics involved in the film's racing world, but it's not interesting and doesn't help to make the races any more important. They're kinda like the pod race in Star Wars Episode I, which served no real purpose besides showing off what Lucasfilms' CGI group is capable of. Like Tron and Dick Tracy, Speed Racer would be the perfect flick to throw on in a loud bar, cause if anyone had to pay attention to the story, they'd apply the breaks, go in reverse and get the hell outta there

Fanning The Next Dakota: move over Gade, cause you're no longer the mos adorable child actress named Ariel. that title now belongs to Ariel Winter, who played kid Trixie

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges


Forgetting Sarah Marshall
We Probably Will, In Another Week Or So
Trailers & Mo


Forgetting Sarah Marshall is like every other Judd Apatow related project, it's cute, got some solid laffs here and there, but ultimately is not the greatestist thing to happen to comedy since Rufus T Firefly. Marshall is probably the mos conventional one of the bunch (we didn't care much for Superbad or Virgin, but did for Knocked-Up), yet with so many crap options out there for you to take your honey to, it's a more solid choice than anything starring McDreamy or McD-bag. After about an hour, the comedy takes a backseat to the romance shiz, and or main problem with the flick is that the love story didn't really pull our heart strings enough to care enuff about it (we also don't have a heart, thanks to Mola Ram). Our secondary problem is Jonah Hill. Has there ever been a more one-noted actor who's received this much buzz for no good reason? He's about as humorous as King of the Hill is (how is that show still on TV?). We're sure he'll suck all of the good air outta Ricky Gervais' directorial debut This Side of the Truth, and that's all sides of the truth, Ruth!

Sarah Marshalls Trying To Forget: these real life Sarah Marshall's were not big fans of the film's marketing and advertising campaign

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Peepers


both films are currently playing at a theater near Jews

until next thyme the balcony is clothed...

# Stizzle Stosseled by Thigh Master
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