Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Wednesday, August 17

Ali Babble & The 40
Thieving of My Time

The 40 Year-Old Virgin
Abstinence From This Flick Is Recommended
View Trailer

What's more pathetic: that I paid for another movie, but snuck into a screening of this hot lode of unfunnynessness, or that the movie I paid for and skipped was The Dukes of Hazzard? Well since you haven't seen Virgin, you probably wouldn't be qualified enuff to answer that, so I'm here to set the record gay. Movie comedies today are more over and passable than 2 nights of Passover Seders. Maybe I'm too jaded, or my humor level is too high-brow, or everyone's juss an idiot who'd giggle every time someone runs into a pane of glass, cause I don't really laff anymore when I see comedies, when everyone seems too. And the The 40 Year-Old Virgin juss so happens to be another shitbrick in the wall (how can I eat my pudding if I don't eat my meat?). The premise is great, but it's totally wasted (like me on any given NFL Sunday), juss like the Phat Dudeman said. The flick has about 4 total laffs, which leaves about 1445790054 moments of melon and ball scratching. And why is everyone and their stepmothers all up in Judd Apatow's crotch? Sure, I may have never seen Freak n' Geeks, which everyone claims is better than Clear Pepsi, but besides being a exec producer on The Ben Stiller Show, what warrants all this attention? Maybe everyone wants to root for a Judd other than the Judds or ex-Real World dorkusmanorkus Judd Winick. As for Steve Carell, the dude boviously has talent, as seen on TV, but not in the movies. And as for Seth Rogen, the guy who plays a Jew with 349854 tatts, and 123678 mid-90s music tees, the dude boviously doesn't have any talent. Please, Hollywurst, no more of these cookie-cutter-crap-comedies. Release em straight to video and save us all the time and dime. But don't listen to me folks, cause it's easier for me to masturbate than it is to get me to laff.

Recommended for those who like: the last 5 Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Will Ferrell, and Ben Stiller movies, Hair, and seeing Paul Rudd's a$$.

Possible Porno Name: The 40 Year-Old Vagina (too easy)

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix the Robert Zemeckis directed (?!??!?) Used Cars!