Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, August 1

Boulevard Of Broken Reams

Frozen River
Icy Hotness!
Trailers & Mo


Ray (the fiery Melissa Leo, whose like a white trash Patricia Clarkson) has got no money, mo problems. It's days before Christmas and her gambling-crazed hubby has just skipped town with their savings, leaving her to fend for herself and their two sons (the eldest played with the utmost sincerity and maturity by Charlie McDermott). Her dreams of a double-wide trailer home don't look to become a reality any time soon, especially if she can only feed her kids popcorn and Tang. As Ray heads out looking for her degenerate spouse, she has a chance encounter on the Mohawk Indian reservation with Lila (Misty Upham), another struggling mom whose trying to save up enuff money to care for her young boy who currently resides with her in-laws. Lila and Ray may come from opposite worlds, but their desperate times call for desperate measures that will ultimately bring them closer together, whether they like it or not. Lila's got a connection to earn some not so easy money by smuggling illegal immigrants across the US-Canadian border by way of a river on the reservation that's... FROZEN! If only she had a car! Ray's got one and the two embark on the risky enterprise that will hopefully fix their monetary woes. Of course it purty much works like gangbusters for the first few runs, but as the local police start to get wind of the operation the duo keep pushing their luck for that quick buck. It's all truly thrilling and chilling stuff, right down to the final frame, with unforgettable tender turns by both female leads, and in a year of film that's been kinda weak, this, alongside The Visitor, ranks as one of the year's best dramas. So if overrated film circuit darlings like Juno or Little Miss Sunshine can garner numerous Oscar nominations, why shouldn't Frozen River? It's wishful thinking on our part, but there's no way it will get any cause the characters are too realistic and not quirky enuff for Academy consideration. Honest to blog!

Slap Happy: McDermott was slapped in the back of the head 52 times in as many takes by Liev Schreiber in the not so funny film The Ten

Verdictgo: Breast In Show


In Search of A Midnight Kiss
Will You Still Love Me Before Sunrise?
Trailers & Mo


It's been over a decade since a little independent movie about life and love in LA called Swingers exploded onto the scene and captured the hearts and minds of twentysomethings across the country. In that time span, no film has come about as a worthy successor, that is until now. In Search of a Midnight Kiss treads on very similar ground, but this film keeps the laffs to a minimum and cranks up the heartstrings to 11. Kiss features a pair of friends that closely resemble the Vince Vaughn-Jon Favreau dynamic that worked so well in Swingers. Wilson's (Scoot McNairy) the shattered soul who can't get over his past relationship and Jacob's (Brian McGuire) the witty tall best friend boosting his ego and trying to get him laid, and even more so after he catches Wilson beating off to a photoshopped image of his girlfriend's (Kathleen Luong) head pasted on a model's body. It's New Year's Eve day and Wilson's eager to find someone to spend the night with. Jacob persuades him to Craigslist it up and wham, before you know it, Wilson's got a date. When he meets up with Vivan (Sara Simmonds), she gives him 5 minutes to impress her or else she'll move onto the next date, who's arriving in another 5 minutes. She comes off as shallow and neurotic, but Wilson doesn't appear to be as choosy as she is. Vivian decides to give him a go and the two wander around the deteriorated downtown streets of LA waxing both philosophically and inanely. They slowly start to grow on one another, and in turn these once annoying characters' start to grow on us as well. Will they kiss? What do you think? But then what? Dunno, but we're juss darn happy to be reminded that independent no-budget filmmaking is far from being dead

Kiss & Show & Telll: we totally want a midnight kiss with both Sara and Kathleen. YUM!





Verdictgo: Jeepers MOS DEF Worth A Peepers


Sixty Six
Mazel Tov Cocktail
Trailers & Mo


Poor little Bernie (newbie Gregg Sulkin), not only does he look like My Three Sons' resident dork Ernie (who juss got his second bit of TWS love in a week!), but his fantasy of having the Bar Mitzvah to end all Bar Mitzvahs is in deep trouble when it's scheduled for the same day and time as the World Cup Final of 1966. It also doesn't help matters when his dad's (Eddie Marsan, back where he belongs in a British drama after playing a baddie in Hancock) corner grocery store closes and he no longer has the funds for hours of hors d'œuvre. Everyone keeps reassuring him (including Helena Bonham Carter, doing charity work as the hottiest goth-ish goy Jewish mom EVER) that there's nothing to worry about and how unlikely it will be for England (that year's Cup's host country) to make it to the championship game. Well, this wouldn't really be a movie worth making had the English not gone all the way (shown in crisp b&w footage), so you can probably guess how well attended his rite of Jewish passage ends up being. This sometimes schmaltzy and mostly bittersweet tale is nice little break from all the other summer fluff out there, and what really allows it to come alive is the fact that it was actually inspired by director Paul Weiland's own tragic Bar Mitzvah's run in with the World Cup

Paul's Boutique: the Beatles opened up a shop to sell hippy crap in late 1967. within six months (exactly 2 years to the day of that '66 World Cup final) the place closed for bidness and opened the doors for people to take whatever they wanted

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers


America The Beautiful
Mutiny On The Beauty
Trailers & Mo


America is obsessed with beauty and it's the media's fault! Not really a groundbreaking statement (unless this was 1908), but that's the gist of Darryl Roberts' bare bones documentary that's poorly shot, too broad and juss way too long. Roberts finds a perfect subject that sums up his point in a 6-foot tall, 12-year-old in over her head model (Gerren Taylor) and her Dina Lohanish mum, but squanders his focus elsewhere with other topics (make-up has chemicals in them!!!) and talking heads (the Vagina Monologues LADY!!) that don't really do anything except reinforce the first sentence in this review and use more percentages than the game show Playing The Percentages. DR, trim this sucker down to an hour and throw it on TV, not the big screen, and then maybe you'll have a thing of beauty

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges


(on) all four(s) films open in limited release today

until next thyme the balcony is clothed...


# Boulevard Of Broken Reams