Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Tuesday, August 12

The Maine Event

we was up in nowheresville, ME this past tweakend, celebratin the union of our baseball seeking [wav] man Mavkrus and his blushing bride. there was nuttin really to do up there besides drink and screw, so we killed 2 birds with one stone and drank screwdrivers! (not really, but it's more poetic if we said we did)

welcome to gawd's country


where the mountains are larger and more beautiful
than Katie Downes' [NSFW]

and every third bidness is named Moosehead something

yet we didn't see one moose whilst wees was there
although we talked frequently about Daryl Johnston

this ghetto Lobster Roll Express

was more humorous than The Pineapple Express

lobster meat and mayo are a deadly combo

and so are our lobster farts and anyone's nose

you like Red Sox ice cream Doc?

we bet it has a winning taste
unlike, say, Washington Nationals ice cream
which probably tastes like last place

the last time we went canoeing

it sucked cause the joint was only burning on one side

beards rule!

but not as much as our readers!

we took a leak on this island

and pooped on your head!

apparently dog drowning is legal in Maine

and so is (javier) boredom

we're so pissed that rainbows have been stolen by gay people

as well as banging people in the butt

a sign of the thymes

that can suck our wake

cause at Woody's the drinks are as wet as the chicks

and the cash in the ceiling rules everything around us

so C.R.E.A.M., get the money and CREAM, in your pants

and never throw in the towel


# The Maine Event