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Wednesday, November 12

Direland

Slumdog Millionaire
A Winning Trivial Pursuit
Trailers & Mo | Official Website


Director Danny Boyle is on an effin roll, even more so than Samari or even Esther! After the triple threat bestness of this decade that brought us the horrific emptiness of 28 Days Later, the heist and high hopes of Millions, and the space ODDyssey that was Sunshine, we've come to regard the man that spankfully gave us Trainspotting (one of the four greatestist movies of balls thyme... all four are named in this post) as a mini-Kubrick in the making, tackling any genre and netting much success. So much so that the excess of A Life Less Ordinary and suckiness of the The Beach barely even bother us anymore. After conquering Great Britain and space, where's a hot director suppose to take his camera next? Bollywood wouldn't have been our first answer, but we'd never second guess Danny Boy. His latest (with some directing assistance from Loveleen Tandan), Slumdog Millionaire, has wood that's more Holly than Bolly (there is still some pointless singing and dancing shiz, but don't worry cause it only happens once, during the end credits), but this Darjeeling is unlimited, unlike Wes'esezzz

The film centers around Jamal Malik (Dev Patel, playing the eldest version of the character), an orphan from the slums of Mumbai, now growns up and working as peon tea boy in an office. When we first meet him, he's sirprizingly climbing the monetary ladder on India's version of Who Want's To Be A Millionaire. Jamal's a question away from taking the top prize, but before he can finish the game the police want him to answer some questions of their own, like, how a kid with a background like his knows so much? And that's how the movie unfolds, as Jamal explains to the chief of police (Irfan Khan, who's the bestest Khan since Chaka and Genghis) how his life experiences from his rough and tough past (with his ruff and tuff older brother) have enabled him to coincidentally come up with all the right answers. We will divulge no more exposition here, cause you need to experience Jamal's experiences with your own dang eyes

Slumdog is so rich, oozing with oodles of ooohs and ahhhas (including some poos, juss like what happened with our boy Renton and the worst toilet in Scotland), that it almos feels like 2872167 movies rolled into one. To put it mo simply, it's the Indian City of God, with some Princess Bride unrequited love (Freida Pinto, the hottiest bean mt EVERest) thrown in for way good measure. It also happens to be the first Fox Searchlight movie in the past 3 years that would actually be worthy of a Best Pic nomination, unlike sum... and that's our final answer

The Host With The Most: as a kid, Jamal worships Bollywood actor Amitabh Bachchan, who in reality was the host of India's version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? entitled Kaun Banega Crorepati

Verdictgo: Breast In Show


Eden
Paradise Lost
Trailers & Mo | Official Website


From the producers of Once comes another movie about love in the land of dreary skies, but don't be expecting no Twice. That's cause the love in Eden is falling apart, not coming together, and there aint no sweet music to be made. The unhappy couple, Billy and Breda (Aidan Kelly and Eileen Walsh), are about to celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary, but 'dread' may be a more apt word to describe how they feel about the looming event. They haven't done it in ages, and Billy's eyes are starting to look elsewhere (see Irish Thighs Are Smiling below). Breda's trying to make things right again between the two, but it seems as if she's driving on a one way street with no road assistance. Stuff happens, and then some uncomfortable stuff happens, and the couple eventually reach a point of no return that will decide ultimately whether they stay together or go their separate ways. Based off of the Eugene O’Brien stage play of the same name, in which he adapted his own work for the screen, director Declan Recks expands the story's settings, but it still feels a bit too stagey. Luckily Kelly and Walsh provide the steak and the sizzle, showcasing their fine acting talents on this emotional roller coaster ride thru heaven and mostly hell

Irish Thighs Are Smiling: we're all about Sarah Greene, the saucy cutie with the chubby cheeks who plays the object of Billy's affection, and now ours!



Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers


Slumdog opens today in limited release, where Eden will join it on Friday

until next thyme the balcony is clothed...


# Direland