Grindhouse
South By SouthWurst
Trailer
What's got
4 thumcredible faux trailers, 15 glorious minutes of
a chick with a gun for a leg, and 20 minutes of thrillin car stunts? The 3 hour and 11 minuted overbloated double feature
Grindhouse from virtuosos
Robert Rodriguez and
Quentin Tarantino. Now I'm no math major or
Lee Majors for that matter, but 40 or so worthwhile minutes leave about 2 and 1/2 hours of undesirable viewing, which I'd like to dub
Snoozehouse. So how did it all go so wrong? For starters, I knew we were in for stormy weather when Tarantino himself was
credited as an actor in both films! The only time his thespian chops were put to good use was when he was killed early on in
Reservoir DogsIt's nice that the two directors wanted to pay homage to shitty movies from the 70s, but did they really need to bore us beyond belief in the process? While Rodriguez' George A. Romeroishhhhh
Planet Terror joint is miles and
kilometers above Tarantino's
Girl Talk party
Death Proof, both are easily the wurstest and mos disappointing efforts they've committed to celluloid. If they really wanted to make
Grindhouse a success, they shoulda gone all sketch-y and made
Kentucky Fried Movie 2. Hell,
A Fistful of Yen was no
Citizen Kane, but it was also the longest bit of
KFM, clockin in at around 31 minutes
Unsatisfied with this? wait til next year when the fab faux trailer
Machete gets turned into a full blown movie (and ends up being the bestest straight-to-video film since
Idiocracy)?
When 1 Becomes 2:
word has it that due to the weak showing at the US BO, the one film will be split into two when released overseas!
Who Would You Rather Bang:
Zoë Bell or
Zoë Ball?
John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict):
Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges
until next thyme the balcony is clothed...
