Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Monday, March 6

The Abridged & Anti-Semitic
Version of the
78th Academy Awards

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Unofficial Oscar Tally Hos

Gays - 4
Gayisha - 3
Pimps - 1
Tsotsi - 1
Palestinians - 0
Jews and Fake Jews - 0

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You'd still f%^k her



Look familiar?

Sure does!!! It's a a screencap from last night's stage performance of the Crash song 'In The Deep'!!

YOU GO Gustavo Santaolalla and your 'The Wings' [d-lode]!! I may juss have to eat at Hooters tomorrow, or play the Capcom unclassic Legendary Wings!!!

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Fortunately, this time Jessica Alba did not refer to Paul Newman as Connecticut

I say poo to Facts of Life handyman George Burnett winning gold. Mindy Cohn worked her ass off for years... and all she has is a big ass to show for it!! He grows a beard and everyone throws accolades at em. It's not fair. Like Blair Warner humping Bonnie Blair on the Warner Brothers lot!!


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Unanswered Questions:

1) Why isn't DJ Qualls the DJ for Three 6 Mafia?



2) And if it's 'Hard Out Here For A Pimp' [d-lode], is it hard being DJ Qualls?



I guess snot

3) And can we replace Dolly Parton's name with Amy Lumet's



when telling the joke,
'Have you seen Dolly Parton's shoes?
[pause]
Neither has she!'

4) Stephen Colbert's video VOs were better than anything Jon Stewart uddered. Might I suggest Borat for next year's hosting honors? I mean, Senor Spielbergo loves em. SEXY TIME!!!

and lastly

5) Who Flung Poo?

Boo. And zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

And Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Boogzzz Powell/Diner!

Pee Es- Puns rule! If you don't like em, we'll have to lock you away in the punitentiary and throw away the key lime pie!


# The Abridged & Anti-Semitic
Version of the
78th Academy Awards