Thighs Wide Shut

happy 38th b-day Heather Graham!

champion of birthday suits [NSFW]
and singing too?
new Gnarls Barkley song ‘Run’ leaked

is it Zeptember yet?

Paul Simon has way too much good music in his repertoire, so he’s putting on a trio of concerts at BAM this spring

REM to hit the road in support of new album Accelerate

another pointless Alex James Blur non-update

Is That It?

& sleeveface slideshow [PradaShopNYC]

we saw 120+ flicks this past year
how’d you do?

The Top Ten
That May Even Be Butter
Than
Tengen’s RBI Baseball

1) Zodiac
2) In The Shadow of The Moon
3) There Will Be Blood
4) No Country For Old Men
5) Away From Her
6) The Diving Bell & The Butterfly
7) Joe Strummer: The Future Is Unwritten
8) This Is England
9) Persepolis
10) Before The Devil Knows Your Dead

Honor Blackmanable Mentions

Billy The Kid, Breach, Broken English, Control, Death At A Funeral, I’m Not There, Into The Wild, La Vie En Rose, Lake Of Fire, The Lives of Others, No End In Sight, The Mist, Sunshine & Sweeney Todd

4rdndth Anal
Thighs Wide
Movie Awards

The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
He Didn’t Like
Guy of The Year

That Guy
aka Denis O’Hare
who appeared in 6 movies

Worstest Line of Dialog
That Also Happens To Be The Title of The Film

‘If the girl’s only hope is you, I pray for her,
cause she’s gone, baby, gone.‘
– Cheese

Rawkinest Cameo Since
Huey Lewis in
Back To The Future

Keef Richards in Pirates 3
& the least rawkinest?
Jack White in Dewey Cox

Pure Javier Bordems

The Assassination of Jesse James
by the Coward Robert Ford
Dans Paris
Silk

Mos Welcomenist Return
since the 2nd Ave Deli

Det. Sgt. John Taggart

Post Her
Post Me
Post Haste!

& the wurstest one
besides War

Trailers Worth Tractoring

Atonement
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
The Namesake
The Simpsons Movie
Unconscious
& not The Kingdom
which seemed to have 38573 diff versions
and still no one wanted to see it

Songs That Execute Butter
Than Norman Mailer’s Bong

‘Bratitude’ [d]
‘Hurdy Gurdy Man’ [d]
‘Pop Goes My Heart’ [d]
& anything off of the Into The Wild or Once sdtrks

Bestest Movies We Netflixed

Catch
That Needs To Be
Released

Jennifer Garner
and that stoopid gasp face she makes

Facial Hair That Needs
To Face The Music
In A Movie Starring
Oliver from The OC
and That Dude
Who Looks Like Mandy Moore
In That Movie He Was In
With Mandy Moore

Jon Voight in September Dawn

Replacing Those Fandango
Brown Paper Bags
As The Mos Painful
of All
Pre-Movie Infotainment

3 Doors Down’s
‘Citizen/Soldier’
National Guard propaganda video

Porn To Be Wild

Snatch and Release
Catch & Release
Breaking and Entering
Breaking and Entering
Poonanny For Beginners
Puccini for Beginners
I Think I F$cked My Wife
I Think I Love My Wife
Mr Magorium’s Wonder Sploogetorium
Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium
The F#ck-It List
The Bucket List
Twatatouille
Ratatouille
Hot Rod
Hot Rod
Jizzy Carter Man With Stains
Jimmy Carter Man From Plains
Pairofsloppytits
Persepolis
My Kid Could Bang That
My Kid Could Paint That

Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award

Daeg Faerch
Saoirse Ronan
Ebon Moss-Bachrach
Wallace Wolodarsky
Zane Pais
Christopher Mintz-Plasse
muMs da Schemer
& Benedict Cumberbatch
(for the 2nd yr in a row)

The Gus van Sant
Most Pretentious
Mos Overhyped
Fox Searchlight Movie
For No Reason

Juno

Welcome To The House, Dolls

Haley Bennett

Alexandra Maria Lara

Laura Vandervoort

Jayne Wisener

Carice van Houten

Wei Tang

Alice Taglioni

Danielle Harris

Ciara Hughes

every Diving Bell and The Butterfly lady

The Death to Smoochy Award
for Worstest Picture of the Year

August Rush
Epic Movie
License to Wed
Revolver
Sing Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

Movies To Look For In The ‘008

Beta Dog
28 Days Slater
Gone BabyDaddy Gone
Yes City-State For Young Women
Twice
Blings We Lost In The Fire
Codename: The Gleaners and I
Bratzz
The Number 2
North By Northwestern Promises
7 Fast, 7 Furious

lookin for a second opinion?
mumsy and dadsy Thigh Master weigh in!

Movies Mumsy Enjoyed

FIVE STARS

La Vie En Rose
The Kite Runner

FOUR STARS

Away From Her
The Diving Bell And The Butterfly
Great Debaters
I’m Not There
In Shadow Of The Moon
Savages

THREE STARS

Atonement
Avenue Montaigne
Before The Devil
Death At A Funeral
December Boys
Eagle VS Shark
Into The Wild
Juno
Margot At The Wedding
Namesake
Nina’s Heavenly Delights
No Country For Old Men

TWO STARS

Bucket List
The Orphanage

WORST FILM OF THE YEAR

August Rush

Papa’s Picks

TOP TEN

La Vie En Rose
In The Shadow of The Moon
Eastern Promises
No Country For Old Men
The Savages
The Kite Runner
Away From Her
Talk To Me
I’m Not There
3:10 To Yuma

RUNNER-UPS

Into The Wild
The Namesake
This Is England
Amazing Grace
Avenue Montaigne
Nina’s Heavenly Delights
Breach
The Bucket List
The Great debaters
Once

BEST COMEDIES

Juno
Superbad
Eagle vs. Shark
Death At A Funeral
Ratatouille
Knocked up
No Reservations

GOOD MOVIES PAPSY DIDN’T LIKE

Sweeney Todd (great cinematography)
Diving Bell and The Butterfly
There will be blood (best actor)

MOVIES THE THIGH MASTER
WOULDN’T LET POP
PUT ON THE LIST
BUT HE LIKED

Wild Hogs
August Rush
Blades of Glory
Fred Claus

don’t forget to peep out our ’06, ’05, ’04, ’03, and ’02 awards!!

TV was good to us this past year and in turn we masturbated a lot. Actually we didn’t, but we probably logged the mos amt of hours in front of the tube of boob since the weigh days when Saved By The Bell played after school 4 times in a row. As for the writer’s strike, we actually believed it helped to make better TV. Why may you flask? Cause mos shows run out of steam half way thru a 20+ ep run and the abbreviated seasons forced tighter storylines and mo juicy entertainments. Less is always more, unless wees talkin about our crush… er, um, CRUSH!

So besides the year-round bestness that be PTI, Ebert & Roeper and CBS Sunday Morning here are our top 13 picks that didn’t suck our vaginas (peas note we didn’t watch Mad Men and to this day, haven’t seen one episode of The Wire… but we plan on changing that)

1. Dexter – did the impossible of following up the BEYOND fantabolous first season with a BEYOND solid second season, where Dex found himself going from hunter to hunted, all while dealing with TV’s mos hated character, the ‘gross, English, titty vampire.‘

2. The Office – ‘Gift baskets are… the essence of class and fanciness‘

3. Flight of the Conchords – if you haven’t rapped along to ‘Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenocerous‘ you truly haven’t lived

4. Lost – we once were bored, but now we’re beard!

5. Kid Nation – kids say the darndest things, and do em as well, and even better than the boring adults that oversaturate the reality genre. don’t know if a second dose of this will be good, but kids doing stuff is second best to monkeys doing stuff

6. Californication – all glorious NSFW breastesiesezes aside, this show was udderly refreshing and NOT Tell Me You Put Me To Sleep

7. Gossip Girl – in 12 short episodes, GG has already replaced The OC as the only true heir to 90210. Chuck Bass kicks glass, as so do these weekly Intel reviews. + who wouldn’t want to toss Blair Waldorf’s salad?

8. 30 Rock – from thirtynothing to thirtyeverything, we’re sorry we ever doubted you

9. Journeyman – we’re still waiting for the ep where Lucius Vorenus travels back to 40ish BC

10. Aliens In America – we picked it to finish last in its class, but this comedy is first class

11. The Tudors – nothing is more gay than Jonathan Rhys Meyers, yet nothing is hotter than watching him bang chicks

12. Dance Revolution – the aim of this Saturday morning show was to get kids off the couch. it didn’t work, for them (it was canceled), but it did for us

13. The (White) Rapper Show – two words: hallelujah hollaback

want a second opinion?
well Thigh Sister and hubby Brickhouse
watch much more crappy TV than thous
and here’s their round-up for the square-down

Favorite Adrenaline Rush
Amazing Race
Dexter
Ultimate Fighter

Favorite Reality Dating Shows
Beauty and the Geek
I Love New York
Pick-Up Artist
Rock of Love with Brett Michaels
Shot of Love with Tila Tequila

Favorite Competitive Reality Shows
America’s Most Smartest Model
America’s Psychic Challenge
Big Brother
Design Star
Project Runway
Top Chef
The (White) Rapper Show

Favorite T&A Shows
The Hills
Keeping up with the Kardashians
Real Housewives of Orange County
Sunset Tan

Favorite Control Freaks
Flipping Out
Janice Dickenson Modeling Agency
Work Out

look out for our anal and annual
breastestestnessness in movies
in the weeks to come!
xo xo

Daughtry
Robin Thicke
Rascal Flatts
Young Jeezy
Gym Class Heroes
etc
conflatulations
yous achievemints this past year
were not good enuff to fancy our tickles
like don rickles
why?
cause frankly my lloyd wright
we don’t give a ham
we eat one!

Les Breastest Albums
of 2007
To Hug Denim In Closets To

(Why Quit Smoking… Cock? Edition)

1) The Good, The Bad & The Queen
The Good, The Bad & The Queen

2) The Chemical Brothers – We Are The Night
3) Jarvis Cocker – Jarvis

4) Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová – Once Original Soundtrack
5) KT Tunstall – Drastic Fantastic

6) Peter Bjorn and John – Writer’s Block
7) Air – Pocket Symphony
8) Just Jack – Overtones

9) Amy Winehouse – Back To Black
10) Travis – The Boy with No Name
11) Mark Ronson – Version

12) Eddie Vedder – Music for the Motion Picture Into the Wild
13) The White Stripes – Icky Thump
14) Timbaland – Shock Value

+ these bonus boners…

Bestest 2005 Album Released In 2007: Junior Senior
Hey Hey My My Yo Yo

Bestest 2006 Guilty Pleasure In 2007: Slumber Party Girls

Bestest Live Album: Daft Punk – Alive 2007

Concerts That Were More
Procerts Than Concerts

Justin Tmberlake @ MSG – Feb 7
Jill Cunniff @ Merc Lounge – Mar 11
The Good, The Bad & The Queen @ Webster Hall – Mar 12
Amy Winehouse @ Bowery Ballroom – Mar 13
Art Garfunkel AND Sean Lennon
@ Lincoln Center/Irving Plaza – Apr 13
Jarvis Cocker @ Webster Hall – Apr 23rd
Donovan @ Canal Room – May 2nd
Peter Bjorn & John @ Webster Hall – May 1st
Air @ Theater at MSG – May 10th
Daniel Johnston @ Highline Ballroom – May 17th
Roger Waters @ Continental Airlines Arena – May 24th
Keane @ Rumsey Playfield – May 30
Travis @ Irving Plaza – Jul 15th
The White Stripes @ MSG – Jul 24th
Just Jack @ Hiro Ballroom – Jul 31st
Daft Punk @ Keyspan Park – Aug 10th
Squeeze @ Beacon Theatre – Aug 3rd
The Police @ Giants Stadium – Aug 5th
Junior Senior @ Highline Ballroom – Aug 13th
The Chemical Brothers/Ladytron @ McCarren Pool – Aug 22nd
The Hives @ Webster Hall – Oct 9th
Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová @ Beacon Theatre – Nov 19th

Tuneses For Toonces

we really need to listen to more music
there’s juss never enuff time in a day

‘A Modern Midnight Conversation’ – The Chem Bros [d]
‘Amsterdam’ – Peter Bjorn & John
anything by Andy Bernard
‘Battleships’ – Travis
‘Disney Time’ – Jarvis Cocker [d]
‘Don’t Let Him Waste Your Time’ – Jarvis Cocker
‘Ex-Guru’ – The Fiery Furnaces [d]
‘Eyes Wide Open’ – Travis [d]
‘Falling Slowly’ – Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová [d]
‘Gimme More’ – Britney Spears
‘God Put a Smile Upon Your Face’ – Mark Ronson
feat The Dapking Horns
‘Guaranteed’ – Eddie Vedder
‘Happy Warriors’ – Jill Cuniff
‘Headphone Song’ – Junior Senior
‘Hell of A Party’ – Air feat Jarvis Cocker [d]
‘Herculean’ – TGTBTQ [d]
‘Hold On’ – KT Tunstall
‘Kingdom of Doom’ – TGTBTQ [d]
‘Lies’ – Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová
‘Mer du Japon’ – Air
‘Nature Springs’ – TGTBTQ
‘North American Scum’ – LCD Soundsystem
‘Pop Goes My Heart’ – Pop [d]
‘Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn’ – The White Stripes [d]
‘Saturate’ – The Chem Bros
‘Somewhere Between Waking And Sleeping’ – Air feat Neil Hannon
‘Starz In Their Eyes’ – Just Jack [d]
‘Stop Bombin Roscommon’ – The Kemicks [d]
‘Stop Me’ – Mark Ronson feat Daniel Merriweather
‘Stronger’ – Kayne West
‘Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger’ – Daft Punk
‘The Songs We Sing’ – Charlotte Gainsbourg [d]
‘The Way I Are’ – Timbaland feat Keri Hilson & D.O.E.
‘Throw It On Me’ – Timbaland feat Hives
‘Tick Tick Boom’ – Hives
‘Umbrella’ – Rihanna
‘We Are The Night’ – The Chem Bros
‘You Know I’m No Good’ – Amy Winehouse
‘Young Folks’ – Peter Bjorn & John

looking for more [d]s?
we’re sure you interweb savy folks
can finger it out fo yoselfsz

don’t look back in hangers

i heard you say
’06
’05
’04
’03

whilst the tATu movie
looks to be mo stankin
den bantha poodoo
that doesn’t stop
everyone’s mos flavorite
faux lezzie commies
from outputtin sizzlin’ music videHOs

here’s lies the one for
‘Beliy Plashchik’ (White Robe)’
from their 5thcoming album
Waste Management

bubble YUM!

[plenty o’ other pics
can be found here]