Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, July 14

Haifa Lootin










GO HIPSTER BINGO!
dats right kids, tits time once again for sweaty bacon cheese fries gettin high on the Wonder Wheel madness3878321!! If you see me and want to say hi, I expect an HJ in return, even if you don't have hands you handless jerkoffs!!

+ Keeley, water, some bubbles, lotsa boobies, why aren't you clicking this NSFW link right now?


# Haifa Lootin

Thursday, July 13

Sayonara

Peace The Fork Out
'57 Breast Support Oscar Winner
Aaron Chwatt
aka
Red Buttons

1919 - 2006

Netflix: They Shoot Horses, Don't They?
Don Not Push: the red button
Not To Be Confused With: Red Skelton, who peaced the fork in the '97, Red Lobster, Redd Foxx, Red Sonja, and many more to be not named later!


# Sayonara

Two For The
Dusty Rhodes Scholars





# Two For The
Dusty Rhodes Scholars

Tangiers of A Clown

Changing Times
aka Les Temps Qui Changent
A Sign of The Times? Yeah, A No Outlet Sign
Trailers

When one thinks of French actors and actresses, two frogs usually come to mind, for butter or worse: Gérard Depardieu and Catherine Deneuve. The two have starred in over 250 films and TV shows combined, and according to IMDB's thumcredible joint venture feature, together in 11 of em. So when they do get together, one would expect something special. Unfortunately, I've never viddied one of these magical screen pairings before, such as Truffaut's The Last Metro, so Changing Times marks the breaking of my Gérard Deneuve cherry. And after taking in this ho-hum story of a desperate Frenchman desperately trying to desperately rekindle his desperate love with an old flame who aint all that desperate to return the favor, all set in the beautiful shores of Tangiers, I kinda want my cherry back. Not to say that it's a total waste, but anyone under 40 will most likely see this as a good eggscuse to take a snooze for 90 minutes... or who desperately want to watch Desperately Seeking Susan

Recommended for those who like: Ibn Batouta International Airport, two characters named Saïd, and McDonalds' hijabs

Possible Porno Name: Banging LeAnn Rimes

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix Kieslowski's Trzy Kolory: Bialy/Three Colors: White [Trailer]

Apt MPupil3: '(Gérard Depardieu) Do Do, De Da Da Da' by The Police [d]

Celebrity Nudie Archive: Lubna Azabal, who played the righteous gal in Paradise Now, apparently aint too camera shy [NSFW] But then again, what European aint? Certainly aint Ms Deneuve [NSFW]

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Un Certain Mérite Mais Aucuns Insignes Puants/Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

until next time the balcony is clothed...


# Tangiers of A Clown

The Joseph Fapp
Pubic Theater

Saffron Burrows


Vanessa Marcil


Rita Hayworth


Terri Harrison


Mia Kirshner




# The Joseph Fapp
Pubic Theater

Wednesday, July 12

Backfield In Lotion

the
peace the fork
outting of

Granpa
aka
Barnard Hughes

1915 - 2006

can mean only one thing...

we're totally posting the Lost Boys animated gifs we jacked long ago from i-mockery


and other shazzle






and SPINALLY, droppin the trailer to the world's mos fappable feature featuring TWO Her Royal Thighnessesses: The Quiet


'Quiet' by The Smashing Pumpkins [d]


# Backfield In Lotion

Tuesday, July 11

Yer Zidaned If You Do
& Zidaned If You Don't...

...post animated gifs of the greatist thing to happen since Howard Dean screamed and Pat O'Brien reemed








...and play the game of all games
fo u wusses who never clicked on the link



# Yer Zidaned If You Do
& Zidaned If You Don't...

Mike Jarvis Cocker Spaniel

Mr Do's

mourn the peace the fork outting of OG member and namer of Pink Floyd...

Roger Keith 'Syd' Barrett


1946 - 2006

'Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Parts 6 - 9)' [d]
'Lucifer Sam' [d]

finger out who the fork this is...


become Jarvis Cocker's pal and give way to his first solo matz, '(Cunts Are Still) Running The World' [Figwise]

for once ogle something else on Stacey Dash's self besides her (antonio) piercing eyes, lby way of her her Playboy spread [NSFW]

somehow take all the credit for 'rapper'(?) Lily Allen hittin #1 on the UK Charts

celebrate The Onion's 10th

visit DC's refurbbed/refabbed Donald W. Reynolds Center for American Art and Portraiture. I spent 2.5 mesmerizing hours in there, and still didn't even get thru 1/2 o del collection! Muss c outta the bunch: Nam June Paik's Electronic Superhighway: Continental US

hit up Charleston, SC on July 28 for Nancy O'Dell Bobblehead Night

discover the evolution of GBark's 'Crazy' [Brooks Robinson] + the mash-up with 'Steady as She Goes' & 'Rapper's Delight'

stay away from summer's big budget fiascos, and hit up the thumcredible Once In A Lifetime doc

somehow fly back during Lolla to see Body Count at NY's Knitting Factory

ignore their stoopid drink ticket policy and the fact that the only sold 2 kinds of beer, one of them being Corona, and hit up Billyburg's wurstest monikered outdoor house of fun, 718 B-Klyn Diner. Hownever, there is no guarantee that you will see Susan Sarandon rock out w/o Robbins as I did

Kube's 2001, in 2001 seconds

fap to 60 years of Lois Lame

read Dan Steinberg and Desmond Bieler's Starting Lineup article every Monday

hope Beckett heeds the werd of the Baseball Card Blog and raises the value of Topps' 1987 set, the series I cut my collectin' teeth on

get yer Streets re-mix & b-side galore d-lode on

find that NSFW pool party starring Rachel Leigh Cook [Step Aerobics]

watch my homegirl Kruisespanko and her mustachioed friend win dough on Cash Cab [watch]

Page Threeley [NSFW]

bookmark bebopics for all yer Potter kid candids. Juss beware of Angelica Mandy's eyes. They have more power than Prince Charles

steal all 5 of the top 5 stolen paintings

admire fotos by Myla I, II, III, without the use of mylar ballons [NSFW]

judge a band by its cover

enjoy really stretched snaps of Eleanor Rigby's super-cutie gran-da Emma

Dinner In The Sky

learn how to blow perfect underwater bubble rings

Bacon Cereal

anal fist a tailpipe with numerous vegetables and other sundries

and never stop posting Zidane headbutt ani gifs (or games that are more bonk than Bonk's Adventure)











(bi they gay, we're are currently eggepting applications and BJs for anyone who wants to make animated gifs of the gawds like those for our thighs only. 501k, dental plan, anal plan, 3651/4 days of vacation, EEE, ELO, EZ-E. irish need not apply.)


Mr Dont's


receive HJs from hottie nottie/Carrie cruelster Nancy Allen

listen to a limony snippet of the Killers' new song snooze 'When You Were Young' [d-lode], from their new album that drops in Rocktober. Sounds like the boys have stopped ripping off every New Wave band and started to rip off themselves. Zzzzzzzzzz. Somebody wake me up when they've gone they way of the Strokes. The who? Eggzzzactly

watch season 4 of the The OC, cause FOX is so behind it!

wonder why the Oscars always go to the wrong people/movies

be like Florrie, the OG Jerri Blank [Pubesbower]

spend a night in Nicky's Hilton

use the internets in Kazakhstan

buy a tent and camp out until next year for Tim Blake Nelson's latest joint to open, starring Kate Hooraysworth & Orlando Boo

watch reruns of Roseanne, despite the fact that 'Corn' (the vegetable) is shown or mentioned in every episode [imdb vis Menyinc]

d-lode Gene Rayburn wallpapers

push the 'push to walk' button

read AA comic strips

hire Clithero as your moving co

drive drunk & masturbate after a T-Wolves game [SFW watch]

and buy these phallic ice cream cones for yer Asian daughters [WTFOMGZ, DUHVS]


all of the above was not sponsored in part by...



# Mike Jarvis Cocker Spaniel

Monday, July 10

The Life Jerk-Assic
w/Frenchie Zizou

Biggest event in the world or not, no game should be decided on penalty kicks, unless Scott Norwood is somehow involved











[Zenic | Grappy | YTMND/Ajamu Stoner Fan #1]

+ Zidane, The Head Butting GAME!
+ many mo Zidane head butt animated gifs (from the Gawds)
+ World Cup Switched At Birth (the Bruce Arena one is klassic)
+ Rooney or Goonie?

see you in the Orange Free State/Transvaal in 2010


# The Life Jerk-Assic
w/Frenchie Zizou

Q: What's Another Word
For Pirate Treasure?
A: Booty

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
I Was Saying Buoy-Urns
Trailers

Memo to Hollywurst:

Please stop excreting on all things succeeding, like a kick from Nate Kaeding, and the once promising Pirates franchise that's now more fleeting than playing Yes & Know's Fleet in a Fleet Bank during Fleet Week. Sequels should be banned in all 48 continental states unless it's really worth continuing the story, or at least what we in the industry like to call 'entertaining'. Are we a better species for having such rehash poo on a stick in eggsistance as The Legend of Zorro, Bring It On Again, Son of the Mask, 7 Fast, 7 Furious (although I'm still dying to see 3 Fast, 3 Furious), and Even Crazier/Even More Beautifullerier? Me thinks don't so! We can now safely add Pirates 2 to the don't waste your mime and toney list. Waste it instead on Darfur, or it's worthy sequel, Darfur 2: Darfur On The Rocks. What more can I say about a sequel that's juss one giant bag of blah? I dunno, but maybe we can do one of those funny math review thingies I pull out every once in awhile...

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest =

Pirates of the Caribbean:
The Curse of the Black Pearl

aka the super fun movie based
off a ride that no one ever rode

-

its Good Humor

dat has been replaced with no humor

+

Star Wars's'es
slimy bizatches

aka
Quarren
or
'Squid Heads'

+

1/14th of the Pride & Prejudice cast

but sadly no Mulligan

+

more generic seamen

than a McAllister family reunion

+

Double Dare's

1 Ton Human Hamster Wheel obstacle

+

the deleted scened octopus
from the Goonies

that even ate Cyndi Lauper

+

big bad voodoo (daddy) advice

from Miss Cleo's ancestors

+

all the underwater Final Fantasy baddies

that made me lose sleep in my teens

+

Stellan Skarsgård

but not Peter Sarsgaard

+

all you can eat seafood

that's more rancid than the band Rancid

+

Micky Dolenz'sz pal's

locker (bee, scotland)

+

(what pretty much
sums up the whole movie)

The Nothing

from Die Unendliche Geschichte

Possible Porno Name: Butt Pirates Care To Be On: My A$$, But They Leave The Semen On My Chest

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): I'm probably being too harsh, but you muss not fall victim, so, Slit Your Eyes Out Repoopulous

until next time, the balcony is clothed...


# Q: What's Another Word
For Pirate Treasure?
A: Booty