Three’s A Crowd… PLEASER!
08. Mar, 2007 
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Remember Thighs Wide Year 1? We hadn’t the slightest idea as to what the fridge we were frazzen. Year 2 wasn’t much different, cept our penis outgrew our ego by something like 20 inches. And so here we here, Year 3. A lot has changed. We’ve gottsen lazyierer. You blame YouTube. I blame Valerie Plame. But lettuce not play the Plame game. Lettuce ketchup on all the poop that’s worth re-pooping!!!
Thighs Wide Herstory
March 8 РTony! Toni! Ton̩!, we did it again! Another year, another recap, another hit with people googling for weird shit
March 17-20 – we hit up the Emerald Isle, and it hits back!
March 27 – Borat movie gets a release date. We say, ‘Here’s hoping everyone’s flavorite Kazakhstani flushes away the (in)competition‘. Who knew that it actually would?
March 30 – Alabama Leprechaun fever hits an all time high!
April 20 – we make our first of 3712873712 Lily Allen mentions. And yes, we still claim that we invented her US career dammint! And yes, wer still want to make love to her myspace background! Four days later, we’re offically in love her music and everything chav!
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April 21 – I get to inderectly ask Sasha Cohen a question
April 26 – We meet Kurt Vonnegut, celebrate with non-related mp3
May 3 – Gawker unintentionally rips and pisses us off
May 5 – Peabs returns from his self-imposed exile to give us his indepth take on his Coachella trip, which includes some ye olde fisting of Cesar Chavez with a buckle full of table grapes and a head full of bad memories. Obvs.
May 7 – the Thinker returns from his self-imposed exile to report on the disaster that was the Public Enemy & Ice-T concert
May 22 – we go batty and post, not only a ton o links, but a ton o vids and mp3s from our formative years
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June 1 – The Fap Five revolution is born
June 7 – Brooklyn Vegan, behind the Beard & Mustache Championship website, is outted as our mos flavorite website
June 12 – Gorrila Mask frynally gives some Thigh love (see Problem Child)
June 15 – our love of Radiohead ends
June 19 – The Gum & Grambo get EW props, Grambs give props to us, yet our Thighs are too sweaty for print
June 21 – blogging indirectly reunites me with the girl/thighness who’s more adorablerer than early 90s Winona Ryder, and on the same day, Portugal beats Mexico in the World Cup, deciding once and for all, who is the greatestist country in the world, and we return from Aruba, without Natalee
July 2 – we break our long silence on Lohag
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July 10 – on – Zidane’s headbutt aninated gif madness begins and never truly ends
July 19 – Pat O’Brien’s honeybunch Betsy, as in ‘Betsy’s so jealous’, has a blog and we open it up to the world… and it closes shop 12 days later
July 25 – we see right thru the lameness that is Little Miss Sunshine, the rest of America choozses not to listen. On the same day, Fleshbot gives us some mornin wood!
July 31 – Mel Gibson is a big idjiot day!
August 1 – After our lackluster visit to the Football HOF in Canton, we decide to rank all the HOFs we’ve been to
August 4 – 6 – we (sorta) hit up Lollapalooza
August 10 – Although Royal Thighnesship interest is at an all time low, we hint at who’s next in line
August 14 – we return to the birthplace of the corn pic
August 21 – yes, we are 400% gay for Chris Isaak
August 23 – our head and our penis’ head almost explode taking in The Quiet, which stars both Cuthbest and Camilla Bellebest
August 24 – fittingly, our mos flavorite TV show of balls thyme, Twin Peaks, becomes the subject of our very first themed fap Thursday
September 8 – football season finally arrives and we correctly predict that the Colts would win the Super Bowl. Take that Dr Z!
September 20 – we hit 3 mil in visitors
September 26 – Aaron Sorkin’s new show blows, and don’t we know it!
October 10 – Lily Allen and the Thigh Master, in one room!
October 16 – the weight is frynally over as we post the The Most/Best – Ghetto/Ass – crazy/beautiful – Local Commercial Ever up on YouTube
October 20 – 22 – Bloomington, IN’s fart intake goes up by 373782397%
November 1 – Ozzie Smith is named our mos flavorite St Lunatic of balls thyme
November 13 – praise Jeebus as Joe Gibbs benches Mark Brunell!!!!
November 14 – 17 – the biggest Don onSlaught on Bond Girls mt EVERest
November 30 – Cuthbest turns 24
December 12 – Wii rules the day
December 15 – our female mascot fetish attracts the attention of Deadspin
December 20 – Underdog movie news prompts us to use toon versh for our background pic, which sadly forked up our system and every post prior to it is now stuck with said bckgnd image
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December 28 – Fiery F-er, Matthew Friedberger tops our ’06 music thingamajig!
December 28 – we finally interviews someone! And not juss someone, but LILY FORKIN ALLEN!!
January 3 – In Oder Aus for the ‘007 drops. In all honesty, this is one of our mos flavorite things to drop besides deuces!!
January 14 – Chargers die, Andy Rooney doesn’t
January 22 – Lynch, what the f%ck was that?
January 25 – Falkor’s little sister turns 21
January 31 – The Devil & Daniel Johnston is our #1 pick for breastest flick of the ‘006 + many other goodies!
February 9 – in one of the mos quietestest dethrownings, we bid adieu to year-shlong reign of Camilla Belle and hola to Her Royal Thighness The VIII, Leonor Ceballos Watling
February 14 – the Thighmistress survives V-day at White Castle!
February 26 – we hit 4 million visitors AND we get to touch a dildo! but not at the same time
March 2 – 4 – my a$$ re-enters the state of Indiana. Sadly for everyone else, so do my farts
March 8 – Thighs Wide Shut turns 3 and you don’t
Oh Snap…ples!!
Atari Lynx
10 Top Wurstest SNL Cast Memebers
Adam Morrison’s Five Stages of Grief
where I’ll be buried: Dublin, OH’s Field of Corn
The Religious Affiliation of Comic Book Characters
Batman TV series onomatopoeia shaz
Double team Shavlik Randolph and Louis Williams
Anne Sellors only TV role ever is…
Colin Farrell hearts a good JO/BJ
Grading the Career of Tom Hanks’s Hair
Pot Tarts, Toka-Cola, Munchy Ways, etc
Judah Friedlander’s microwave for sale
helpmegetrandomwithladysovereign.com
the only Mario Bros animated gif u ever need to see
There Is A Coffin Waiting For Jerry Lewis
Michael Douglas, human Muppetttt
Fantazy Land, Alexandria, Egypt
Megan Fox Gives Brian Austin Green a Hand… Job
Pictures You Can’t Take Anymore
Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru – Special Edition
largest pizza taco you’d ever want to eat
richkotitebangedyourmom.blogspot.com
Jek Porkins And Ponda Baba: Haunted House Candy Hunt!
A BANNER Year
Give me HEAD… LINES!!
On the menu today: horse penis and testicles with a chilli dip
Passengers Bravely Take Down Plane Showing Big Momma’s House 2
And bloGOD said let there be Lily Allen
Don Knotts, Richard Pryor Team Up For Madcap Haunting
70,000 Beer Cans Found in Ogden Townhouse
James Stewart ‘forced To Bed Hookers’
A Man Should Look Out After His Family & Tagged
Overjoyed Saints Fans Tear Roof Off Reopened Superdome
Detroit man in erotic pursuit of mannequins arrested, again
Rumsfeld Leaves Most Recent Job Off Resumé
NSFW
either one wouldn’t be WTFworthy, but together?
Encyclopedia of Lesbian Movie Scenes
Ladies In Weighting
Video Daily Doubles
[more]
Michael Larson, Whammy’s #1 enemy
Dazzling Dunks and Basketball Bloopers: The Basketball Olympics
The Wonderful World of 80s Commercials
Jarvis w/ Ali G’s ‘Help the Muthafuckin Aged’ vid
Gene Hackman loves fall out shelters
Game Six of the 1986 World Series with Nintendo RBI Baseball
Village People’s ‘Sex Over The Phone’ vid
Re-Enactment: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
‘Stop The Madness’, anti-drug music video
Paul McCartney making mashed potatoes
9 months of gestation in 20 seconds
Mr Rogers meets Mr Donkey Kong
Sean And Mackenzie Astin on I’m Telling
Corey Haim – Me, Myself, and I
I Remember Jew
the kid from Charles In Charge AND Arsenio
The Encyclopedia Britannica Boy and his NSFW other half
Danuel Pipoly (Piggy from Lord of the Flies)
Sound Off
‘Da Gold (Where It At?)’ [d]
‘I’m The Storyteller’ song [d]
Damon Albarnpalooza [many Ds]
EG Dailey’s ‘Mind Over Matter’ [d] from Summer School
Jolene’ by Olivia Newton John & Apollo Zero [d]
‘Everybody’s Talkin’ b
y Leonard Nimoy [d]
Martika’s ‘Toy Soldiers’ [d]
Orson Welles’ hates frozen peas
the Armand Van Helden remix of the Moby/Debbie Harry jammy jam ‘New York, New York’ [d]
‘(My Name Is Mahir) I Kiss You’ [d]
Hall of Fap
PEACE THE FORK OUT
Peter David Tomarken
Maureen Stapleton
Louis Rukeyser
TV’s Invasion
Paul Xavier Gleason
Billy Preston
György Ligeti
Aaron F. Spelling
Ken Lay
Red Buttons
Lost Boys Granpa
Roger Keith ‘Syd’ Barrett
Frank ‘Mickey’ Morrison Spillane
Guy Haines’ sluty wife Miriam
Jack Warden
Bruno Giovanni Quidaciolu Kirby, Jr
the Planetary Status of Pluto
Gwyllyn ‘Glenn’ Samuel Newton Ford
Stephen Robert ‘Steve’ Irwin
Nelson de la Rosa
Red Auerbach
Edward R Bradley Jr
Volodymyr ‘Walter Jack Palance’ Palahniuk
Robert Bernard Altman
Peter Boyle, Jr
misc many
James Joseph Brown, Jr.
The OC
Arthur Buchwald & Dennis Gerrard Stephen Doherty & Scott Charles Bam Bam Bigelow
Anna Nicole Smith
DJ
The Effin Man Who Gave Us The Wireless TV REMOTE CONTROL & Chief Illiniwek
Ernest Gallo AND Capt’n America
Stick Me In The Punitentiary
