Thighs Wide Shut

Factory Girl
Pop Tart
Trailer

There are three impersonations goings on here and they run from good, to not bad, to I can’t tell if that was good, bad or juss plain ooogly. Guy Pearce’s gaunt features fill in quite goodly into Warhol’s blotchy skin. I dunno what Warhol’s muse for a moment Edie Sedgwick (said girl in factory) sounded like, but Sienna Miller showed us her tits, so that’s the not so bad bit. As for the one I can’t make up my mind on, well that distinction belongs to Hayden Christensen who portrays ‘the musician’, a folk icon that isn’t Bob Dylan but is Bob Dylan. Now there’s a reason why the character’s not called Bob Dylan in film, but we’re not here to discuss legal matters or that lil girl turned porn star [NSFW] from Family Matters. Christensen is an enigma. I love him in some movies and want to burn down the theater after catching him in others (mainly the Star Warseses, but that’s more Lucaseses’ fault than his). While most despise his impersonation of Bob Dylan, I still can’t finger out whether to label it disingenuous or genius.

As you can tell, most of my attention was focused on the male characters (cept for Jimmy Fallon, who is the biggest non-actor since Jennifer Hudson, although she’s physically bigger than him, DUHVS!), which shouldn’t have been the case unless this film was titled The Artsy Gay Man of The Factory & The Man Who Is Not Bob Dylan and Hated The Factory Headed By The Artsy Gay Man. And although I was entertained from start to finish, this male dominance is the main issue I have with the film. There’s too many other things drawing our attention away from the factory girl herself. During the credits, we are treated to a lil Edie slideshow, featuring a bunch of talking heads from her life and times. We learn more about her in these few minutes than we did during the entire 90 fictional ones that proceeded it. Kinda odd then that director George Hickenlooper didn’t go the documentary route, considering he’s so effin best in that genre. If you don’t know what I mean, then you boviously never saw his brills Mayor of Sunset Strip [TWS review]. Since there probably won’t be another movie about Edie made, I guess we’ll have to make do with this one

Unsatisfied with this?: Besides Mayor, you should totes Netflix I Shot Andy Warhol [Trailer]

Possible Porno Name: Back-Door Whore-e Girl

Apt MPupil3: Garbage’s ‘Stupid Girl‘ [d]

Famous For 15 Minutes: 17 people in film and TV have been credited for playin Warhol, including but not limited to David Bowie, Crispin Glover and Hank Azaria… ‘s voice

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Last noche we got our eyes and thighs on over to Southpaw to witness the disfitness that was the White Rapper‘s wrap party

As eggspected, there were more white people there than at a Jeff Foxworthy family reunion

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Not as I eggspected, John Brown and his les ghetto revival lost the grand prize to $hamrock and his grill

As eggspected, my camera snapped the mos les ghetto pics since Brett Ratner’s photobooth

Not as anyone eggspected, corn-row fuglyster G-Child outperformed sasstress Persia. The land mass now known as Iran was so effin whoreable that me and the mistress had to exit the venue before John Brown ever took to the stage

As bespectacled, MC Serch owned the night

If anyone truly was a winner from this show, it was him. Many forgot how effin best he was, and spanks to this semi-wack show, we will never make that mis-steak again. If only he still had that jewfro!

and as eggspected, I went home and JOed to the images on Misfit’s myspace page

Lily Allen
Webster Hall
February 10th

What’s sweet, sassy, more brassy than Shirley Bassey, in a classy all her own, and a bit too gassy to stifle her Shepherd’s Pie burps? If you guessed Abigail Breslin or Abigail Adams then you seriously have more issues than a 11-year subscription to Highlights Magazine. And if you didn’t guess then you obviously knew that the the answer was none other than unclassifiable British wunderkind Lily Allen.

Despite the jitters and understandable stiffness that she displayed at her 1st show on American soil, I was still thoroughly impressed with her 30-minute showcase last October at the Hiro Ballroom, while others were mos certainly not. Well, by the end of her triumphant one hour show on Saturday at Webster Hall, which featured edward james almost every song on her US release, 3 brilliant covers (some might call her Not So Weird Alice Yankovic), and the darlin’ underheard ‘Absolutely Nothing’, everyone was in agreement that she’s the bees knees more than Rick Dees‘ nuts.

Lily rules and I’m not juss spraying that cause she came to Thighland for a lengthy chat, or winked at me when I saw her live on Friday’s TRL, or cause she smokes more fags than Ted Haggard did in the ’06, but cause she really does. She’s the mos entertaining solo female artist going. She’s so fantabulous that MTV and myself both agree on something of greatness for the first time since they picked The Smashing Pumpkins’ ‘Tonight, Tonight’ as the video of the year for 1996. And oh, if you didn’t know how yumstoppable Lily truly is then be sure to czech her out in the upcommin’ She-Hulk movie!

LDN / Nan, You’re a Window Shopper / Knock ‘Em Out / Shame For You / Littlest Things / Cheryl Tweedy / Everybody’s Changing (Keane cover) / Naive (Kooks cover) / Not Big / Absolutely Nothing / Everything’s Just Wonderful / Friend of Mine / Friday Night / Smile /ENCORE/ Blank Expression (Specials cover) / Alfie