This has only been my second year rizzle razzlin at the Tribeca Film Festival, three, if you count the House of Wax Dat A$$ screening where I stalked Cuthbert with a wooden mallet, and although I enjoyed most of what I peeped, I’d have to say that the selections from which to choose from wouldn’ta satisfied a mom who choosily chooses JIF peanut butter. I dunno if it’s just a lousy year, or that lastyear was bestierful than the Bestival, but anypoo, whithout further Freddy Adu…
Breast In Fest•
I Have Never Forgotten You: The Life & Legacy of Simon Wiesenthal [trailer]
Ever heard of Simon Wiesenthal? If the answer is yes, then you still need to see this. If the answer is no, go fork yourself you Nazi sympathizer, and then, when your have completed your self-forking, go see this engaging documentary on the notorious Holocaust survivor turned Nazi hunter, narrated by Nicole Kidman. Hell, the doc does such a good job of blending history and emotion that you may juss NEVER FORGET about it
In what could easily have been the biggest schmaltz fest since my mum’s matzoh ball soup, Where God Left His Shoes is the straight-forward yet very touching tale of a family fighting their way out of homelessness around Christmastime in NYC. Calling the shots is the always dependable John Leguizamo, but it’s his stepson, played by David Castro, that’s really stealing them. Think of it is a lower budget and way less Irish In America
If Julie Delpy was a bit more of a party girl and traded in poetic Ethan Hawke for neurotic Adam Goldberg, you’d end up with purty much something that resembles her rambling full length directorial debut 2 Days In Paris. Adorably Woody Allenesque for the first half and a complete mess by the second, this flick is still worthy of your yeux et oreilles!
release date: August 10th (limited)
•Sum Merit But No Stinkin Festival Badges•
The Air I Breathe
We’ve all seen Crash and therefore we’ve all already seen The Air I Breathe. If yer sick of flicks where the characters perfectly and coincidentally intertwine, then stay away. But if you can’t get enuff, then come on down and enjoy Brendan Fraser’s ninehead. This film will probably get released, which would be sad considering that Fraser’s far more entertaining ’06 Tribeca entry, Journey to the End of the Night [review], never got the chance
release date: ????
Blue State
Voting for Kerry, political blogging, and Breckin Meyer. Carnac sez, ‘What are three things that I don’t ever want to see in a film again after seeing Blue State‘
release date: ????
Purple Violets
A film by Edward Burns. ’nuff said
release date: ????
Doesn’t Even Belong In A Poop Festical•
DJ Spooky’s Rebirth of a Nation [clip] & D-Fuse’s Latitude
DJ Spooky, why on earth did you ever let D-Fuse open your show with 30+ minutes of boring to the 3728378127837nth degree sound and video? That crap on a stick knocked my brain off its moorings so fargin much that I could never fully get into and appreciate your DW Griffith remix thingie. Sorry bro, but next time, diffuse D-Fuse’s computer and maybe I won’t be so spooked to see you again!
all hail the side boob until May 18th, when Cuthies Cuthbert Cuthbest’s Captivity opens in limited theaters!! Here’s a quasi-trailer of the film which is basically Kim Bauer Gets Tortured for 96 Hours!
• but when all is said and nora and warrick dunn, will dirty pressed boobs end up being the old on fire sweaty blog boobs?
Remember Thighs Wide Year 1? We hadn’t the slightest idea as to what the fridge we were frazzen. Year 2 wasn’t much different, cept our penis outgrew our ego by something like 20 inches. And so here we here, Year 3. A lot has changed. We’ve gottsen lazyierer. You blame YouTube. I blame Valerie Plame. But lettuce not play the Plame game. Lettuce ketchup on all the poop that’s worth re-pooping!!!
May 5 – Peabs returns from his self-imposed exile to give us his indepth take on his Coachella trip, which includes some ye olde fisting of Cesar Chavez with a buckle full of table grapes and a head full of bad memories. Obvs.
December 20 – Underdog movie news prompts us to use toon versh for our background pic, which sadly forked up our system and every post prior to it is now stuck with said bckgnd image
February 9 – in one of the mos quietestest dethrownings, we bid adieu to year-shlong reign of Camilla Belle and hola to Her Royal Thighness The VIII, Leonor Ceballos Watling
08. May, 2007 
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